Tackling Sins of Impurity
For young men especially sins of a sexual nature are among the most
difficult that we face. They are often the most difficult to defeat for many
reasons. For example, often it’s a taboo subject and therefore difficult to
speak about with fellow Catholics, it is also very personal and can be
embarrassing, but also it involves tackling deeply rooted bodily desires and
these are often the most difficult to control. Here is some practical advice
regarding this subject, and some tips for overcoming them.
1) Stay close to God.
I’m sure you’ve heard this one before a million times. Pray, go to Mass,
go to confession etc. but it really does help. We can only overcome this by the
freely given grace of God. Particularly important is prayer, each morning, each
night and I’d recommend at least some time spent in prayer during the day too.
Second of all, read the scriptures! Spend time reading the Bible. The Bible is
the Word of God, and by reading it we obtain graces and also get to know Jesus
in a real and personal way. If you’re with a partner pray together each time
you meet, ask God for purity in your relationship and He will give it you.
2) Keep Active
Sins of the body are most likely to happen when you’re not busy. Maybe
after school when you’re home alone? Or when you’re relaxing before you go to
bed? When you’re watching a movie alone with your girlfriend? Think about when
you tend to commit these sins, and then do something during this time
preferably outside the house. If it’s with your girlfriend stop watching movies
alone together, stop lying down next to each other. Do not be afraid about the
impact it will have on your relationship because you‘re doing God‘s will. And
hey, what’s wrong with just hanging out with each other in the company of
others and outside the home?
3) Tackle the Root of the Problem
Often these problems are so deeply rooted that it will be unable to stop
unless you really weed out every part of it. This doesn’t mean you need to
become a nervous wreck every time you see a pretty girl on the street, but don’t
let your eyes follow them. Try to look at them purely, but if you feel you can’t,
simply look away, once they’re gone the temptation will go too so all you’ll
really be doing is looking away for a few seconds. Start with the little
things, as just mentioned stop looking at girls, stop talking about girls with
your friends in this way (do you talk about how “sexy“ or “hot“ girls are? Show
respect in your speech), stop watching them on TV, just change the channel,
stop looking through pictures of girls on Facebook (yes even the pretty ones!)
and try to keep your thoughts pure. When you fall into any of these things, don’t
worry it’s not a problem, but once you’ve realised that you’re doing them try
to stop and do something else.
4) No passionate kissing
What?!!! Yep! This can be tough, but it’s the easiest way to stop it
going any further with a girlfriend. When a man kisses a girl in this way it’s
like a switch that tells his brain that more is going to happen. You don’t
think this affects you? Well I’m pretty sure most of the times something
happens with your girlfriend, this is how it all starts, so be confident in God
and give this up.
5) A New Mindset
If you’re in a relationship try not to think in “how far can we go
without it being a sin?” Instead try to
think “how pure can we make this relationship?” or if you’re single “how pure
can I make my life?” Pray to God and ask Him to show you how, and for the grace
to do it. Yes it will be tough, and you might have to give up things you never
thought you would, but it will be worth it. Never be afraid about what your
partner thinks because if you’re doing it for God, then you have nothing to
fear. If they’re not willing to stop? Think about if this is a relationship you
really want to be in.
If you’re single perhaps you are having problems respecting you own body and perhaps watching pornography too. The devil is smart and will tempt you in many ways, making everything seem okay, think how many times will you have said to yourself “I’ll just have a look, but won’t do anything else?” or "who does it really hurt?" etc. If you get into this situation try to leave the computer if possible. If not, then remember that you’re not giving up these things for the rest of your life, but only really until the urges go, a minute? Two minutes? It’s not very much when you think about it..
If you’re single perhaps you are having problems respecting you own body and perhaps watching pornography too. The devil is smart and will tempt you in many ways, making everything seem okay, think how many times will you have said to yourself “I’ll just have a look, but won’t do anything else?” or "who does it really hurt?" etc. If you get into this situation try to leave the computer if possible. If not, then remember that you’re not giving up these things for the rest of your life, but only really until the urges go, a minute? Two minutes? It’s not very much when you think about it..
6) Learn about It
If you’re serious about anything be it history, art, music, languages
you read and learn about them. The same with this. If you’re serious about
giving up, listen to talks online, read testimonies, read advice articles,
watch videos, talk to people; your friends, other Catholics. There really are
so many ways you can learn, and so just take the time to do it.
7) Become a Better Christian
Although it can often seem that it’s impossible and that this is making
you a terrible Christian, know that this is not the case. Sins of impurity
(while they can certainly leave a lasting impression) only take up a small part
of your day, possibly only minutes! So it’s important to still go about trying
to lead a good Christian life the rest of the day. With an injury, a doctor
will say build up the muscles around it, the same applies here, try and improve
all the areas of your Christian life; help out around the home, help people in
your parish, give food to the homeless in your area, do all your
school/university work etc. This is only a small part of your life, and so
strive to give the rest of your day to God.
Finally don’t become dismayed when you fall. There are many people in
heaven who have battled exactly the same sins as you have and remember that God
loves you exactly the same whether you do it or not, so when you fall go to Him
in prayer and “Let Him love you in your ugliness”. It takes most people
years to overcome these sins and the important thing is that your heart remains
strong. All us Christians, little by little and with God’s help, can overcome
any sin no matter how tough it seems at times.
Stay strong and know that anything given up for God, is not really given
up.
God Bless,
Paul.
