Fighting Sins of Impurity

Tackling Sins of Impurity

For young men especially sins of a sexual nature are among the most difficult that we face. They are often the most difficult to defeat for many reasons. For example, often it’s a taboo subject and therefore difficult to speak about with fellow Catholics, it is also very personal and can be embarrassing, but also it involves tackling deeply rooted bodily desires and these are often the most difficult to control. Here is some practical advice regarding this subject, and some tips for overcoming them.

1) Stay close to God.

I’m sure you’ve heard this one before a million times. Pray, go to Mass, go to confession etc. but it really does help. We can only overcome this by the freely given grace of God. Particularly important is prayer, each morning, each night and I’d recommend at least some time spent in prayer during the day too. Second of all, read the scriptures! Spend time reading the Bible. The Bible is the Word of God, and by reading it we obtain graces and also get to know Jesus in a real and personal way. If you’re with a partner pray together each time you meet, ask God for purity in your relationship and He will give it you.

2) Keep Active

Sins of the body are most likely to happen when you’re not busy. Maybe after school when you’re home alone? Or when you’re relaxing before you go to bed? When you’re watching a movie alone with your girlfriend? Think about when you tend to commit these sins, and then do something during this time preferably outside the house. If it’s with your girlfriend stop watching movies alone together, stop lying down next to each other. Do not be afraid about the impact it will have on your relationship because you‘re doing God‘s will. And hey, what’s wrong with just hanging out with each other in the company of others and outside the home?

3) Tackle the Root of the Problem

Often these problems are so deeply rooted that it will be unable to stop unless you really weed out every part of it. This doesn’t mean you need to become a nervous wreck every time you see a pretty girl on the street, but don’t let your eyes follow them. Try to look at them purely, but if you feel you can’t, simply look away, once they’re gone the temptation will go too so all you’ll really be doing is looking away for a few seconds. Start with the little things, as just mentioned stop looking at girls, stop talking about girls with your friends in this way (do you talk about how “sexy“ or “hot“ girls are? Show respect in your speech), stop watching them on TV, just change the channel, stop looking through pictures of girls on Facebook (yes even the pretty ones!) and try to keep your thoughts pure. When you fall into any of these things, don’t worry it’s not a problem, but once you’ve realised that you’re doing them try to stop and do something else.

4) No passionate kissing

What?!!! Yep! This can be tough, but it’s the easiest way to stop it going any further with a girlfriend. When a man kisses a girl in this way it’s like a switch that tells his brain that more is going to happen. You don’t think this affects you? Well I’m pretty sure most of the times something happens with your girlfriend, this is how it all starts, so be confident in God and give this up.

5) A New Mindset

If you’re in a relationship try not to think in “how far can we go without it being a sin?”  Instead try to think “how pure can we make this relationship?” or if you’re single “how pure can I make my life?” Pray to God and ask Him to show you how, and for the grace to do it. Yes it will be tough, and you might have to give up things you never thought you would, but it will be worth it. Never be afraid about what your partner thinks because if you’re doing it for God, then you have nothing to fear. If they’re not willing to stop? Think about if this is a relationship you really want to be in.

If you’re single perhaps you are having problems respecting you own body and perhaps watching pornography too. The devil is smart and will tempt you in many ways, making everything seem okay, think how many times will you have said to yourself “I’ll just have a look, but won’t do anything else?” or "who does it really hurt?" etc. If you get into this situation try to leave the computer if possible. If not, then remember that you’re not giving up these things for the rest of your life, but only really until the urges go, a minute? Two minutes? It’s not very much when you think about it.. 

6) Learn about It

If you’re serious about anything be it history, art, music, languages you read and learn about them. The same with this. If you’re serious about giving up, listen to talks online, read testimonies, read advice articles, watch videos, talk to people; your friends, other Catholics. There really are so many ways you can learn, and so just take the time to do it.

7) Become a Better Christian

Although it can often seem that it’s impossible and that this is making you a terrible Christian, know that this is not the case. Sins of impurity (while they can certainly leave a lasting impression) only take up a small part of your day, possibly only minutes! So it’s important to still go about trying to lead a good Christian life the rest of the day. With an injury, a doctor will say build up the muscles around it, the same applies here, try and improve all the areas of your Christian life; help out around the home, help people in your parish, give food to the homeless in your area, do all your school/university work etc. This is only a small part of your life, and so strive to give the rest of your day to God.

Finally don’t become dismayed when you fall. There are many people in heaven who have battled exactly the same sins as you have and remember that God loves you exactly the same whether you do it or not, so when you fall go to Him in prayer and “Let Him love you in your ugliness”. It takes most people years to overcome these sins and the important thing is that your heart remains strong. All us Christians, little by little and with God’s help, can overcome any sin no matter how tough it seems at times.

Stay strong and know that anything given up for God, is not really given up.

God Bless,

Paul.